Kick the Habits
There are certain habits that seem to creep into copy often. Some take up valuable time and don't add much. Others invite tuneout.
Any form of the word "locate" can be crossed out:
"Bill's Bikes, located at 123 Main street, is your source..."
"Bill's Bikes, 123 Main Street, is your source..."
"Quicky Lube, with five locations in Centre County, offers..."
"The five Quicky Lubes in Centre County offer..."
Be very careful about asking questions in your copy, especially at the beginning. It's too easy for the listener to answer the question "No!" and change the station.
"Are you in the market for a new washing machine?"
"When your washing machine goes kaput, remember Rogers Appliances!"
"Are you looking for a quiet, romantic restaurant?"
"You're finally ready for a romantic evening and it has to be just right."
Make sure your copy offers benefits instead of just listing features:
"One of the fastest cars made..."
"Grab the wheel and own the road..."
"Our conference facilities offer many amenities."
"Plan your event with the confidence that everything will be perfect."
Avoid the dreaded "laundry list":
"We carry Whirlpool, Amana, Frigidaire, Magic Chef, and many others."
"Choose your new fridge from five of the top national brands right here
in our showroom."
"All of the best products are available such as: Penn, Shimano, St. Croix, Silstar,
G-Loomis, Shakespeare, Fenwick, Yo-Zori, Rapala, Van-Stahl, Star plus many others."
"When you choose from over a dozen top brands, you know you're ready
for success on the water."